I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
