i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
