Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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