if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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