ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
is it fun? or sober?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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