I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
