By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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