My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
