i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize