the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize