ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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