FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
