My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
There's even glitter on my cock...
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