I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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