Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
