Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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