eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
