And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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