M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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