hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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