I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
