ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
