when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
