it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
40s are totally the cure
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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