i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
