You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
