I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
