OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize