awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
