i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
