I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
