I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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