epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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