I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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