so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
