I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
