non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
