It's Friday. Sex?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
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Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
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So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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