did you get engaged???
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
