It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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