I only kidnapped one of them. chill
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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