Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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