I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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