either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
