Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
