Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
