please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
smell my finger.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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