You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
