I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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