Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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