She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
