Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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