that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
