My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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