nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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