Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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