READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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