she was so not down for the gang bang
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
