Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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