i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
