is your mom at the bar?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
