IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
