Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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