I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize