To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
