Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
