ugly people sure do ruin things
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
