My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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